When someone admits that their marriage is unsustainable, they often face judgment or pity from family, friends, and strangers online. What they really need in this situation is support, comfort, and professional guidance.
Divorce Coach Rebecca Spittles joins us on the blog to share her experience with the initial stages of separation and offer advice on what to say to a friend going through a divorce.
‘“It’s a shame you couldn’t have just tried a bit harder…”
Nothing cuts deeper than hearing this after making the difficult decision to leave. It’s important for people to understand that divorce is a last resort.
Contrary to popular belief, no one truly wants to get divorced. It’s a heart-wrenching experience, especially when children are involved. I never wished for divorce, as I took my vows seriously and wanted the security and comfort that marriage brings.
My family and friends were a source of strength for me during this tough time. They offered kind words and encouragement, helping me stay strong in my decision.
The toughest part for me was realizing that in order for our relationship to work, one or both of us had to suppress our key personality traits. It wasn’t sustainable.
After years of trying to make it work, I finally asked for a separation. It wasn’t an easy decision, but it was necessary for my well-being.
For anyone facing a similar situation, my advice is to listen and offer comfort. Understand the journey they’ve been on before judging their decision to leave.
Support them through the emotional rollercoaster that follows, as they navigate the complexities of separation and divorce.
Rebecca Spittles is a Divorce Coach who provides personalized emotional and practical support to individuals going through divorce or separation.
Learn more about Rebecca on her website or LinkedIn.
Useful links
My partner’s a good person but I’m not happy
When ‘I do’ becomes ‘I don’t’: Navigating the path to divorce and what to do next
What to do if you think your marriage is over